Assalamualaikum wbt.. My subconscious is nuts. For the past few weeks, I've been having dreams several times a week that I'm pregnant. For the record, I'm not (although that would be a good explanation for my recent weight gain!). But maybe subconsciously I want to be huh? I think I'm just really struggling with my baby growing up. The dreams started when we separate Aulia' from our bed. I was no longer rocking her before bed, like I had done just about every night since she was a baby. Reality smacked me in the face- I'll almost certainly never have another baby to rock to sleep. To tuck into a crib. To nurse. To diaper (but not sad about this one). There's been an ache in my heart that I now realize has been growing every time Aulia' hit another milestone that further her (and me!) from babyhood. It's half crazy/ half understandable because I know in my mind that 3 is the right number of our family right now. I'm good with that, e
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