Friday, May 17, 2013

Here and now

Assalamualaikum wbt...


I live my life on a pendulum. I'm constantly swinging between extremes of either always thinking and dreaming about the future or being naively focused on the present. There's a plus to both sides, but a happy medium would be ideal. When I'm in my future- focused state I'm a dreamer, I'm determined, and I take action. But I'm also more stressed out and I lose sight of just living in the moment. When I'm wholehearted content in the present and embracing the here and now, I'm happy. But, I'm just letting life live and I tend to get lazy. My motivation has died down.

Right now I am stuck in my "I'm happy now" mode. I feel great! I'm living day to day, soaking up life's little moments. I'm honestly happy with all aspects of my life. I'm just floating along in my "whatever happens, happens" mentality. Life is good.

But what about my daughter's 2nd birthday quickly approaching? Or the fact that we have yet to write a will? And what about the debt that needs to paid down? Or where we are going to vacation this September when I has a week off work? What will my life look like 10 years from now?
 ahhh..duniawi..
Like I said, I'm struggling to find the happy medium between caring about the future and soaking up the present. I'm struggling with a lack of motivation. I love having a carefree mentality, but where will it get me in terms of my to-do-list, in term of my goals? I need a reminder please..really bad.

Ever wish your husband could read your mind? I always do.

Last night when we finish performing our Jemaah prayers, my husband ask me to sit down with him..He said he wanted to have a tazkirah (some sort of lecture) on our ibadah (worship) and to discuss on our daily routine/work/responsibility..

There you go my reminder and motivator..Alhamdulillah..he can actually read my mind.
You see, in many Muslim cultures, men are raised to be stoic and tight-lipped. Muslim husbands are very often (not always) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives. Part of the problem is also that sometimes it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the right words.
We've tried our best to communicate each day and here we are sitting together after performing our Isya' prayers and discussing on our relationship as husband and wife, our duty as a Muslim and our responsibility towards our children and parents.

Today I'm choosing to just be happy in this current moment. And for now that is good enough.
Now, go and get married peeps. and love your spouse!

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