Skip to main content

Pregnancy Test

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...

I was hesitant to post this but it's what's on my heart and mind today, so here it goes..

I'm not pregnant. I know, a lot of people aren't and it's a strange thing to say. But I'm not pregnant. This weighs on my heart like a ton of bricks and it makes me sad. Every minutes.
Getting pregnant with Aulia' was really easy. My delivery was tough but it was successful. After almost 24 hours of labour, I had a happy, healthy baby and I survived. What more could I ask for?

I assumed having another one would be easy. I had these pregnancy symptoms for the last couples of weeks. I felt nausea and constantly vomiting in the morning..just the exact symptoms when I first had Aulia'..but I am not where I thought I would be. I thought that I would be announcing on Facebook, planning for my anatomy scan and excited to make Aulia' a big sister.

So I had myself a pregnancy test..


Well, I'm a bit dissapointed with the result though. I know so many people who have had difficulties, honestly, before having Aulia', I had a feeling I would be one. After having her, I knew getting pregnant and having a baby would be easy. Why would I ever think that? Who ever would assume getting pregnant is easy?

You never know how the words "when are you having more?" can sting. You never think about that kind of thing until you or a friend goes through it. I had a friend who had a struggle finally getting pregnant with her sweet boy and it wasn't until her that I thought to keep my "When are you having babies?" to myself. But to constantly hear "it's time for another" and "When are you going to make Aulia' a big sister?" sucks.

Aulia' is incredible. She is absolutely the best thing ever happen to me, the best thing in my life. Thinking about how much I adore her completely overjoys me. I don't discount her or feel that she isn't enough.

She is enough. Tapi, kalau Allah bagi rezeki lebih kat kami, Alhamdulillah..

But it doesn't change the fact that I want more..cuba lagi:)


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Saving the best for the last-Me!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.. B's nature of work leaves me with no choice but to be independent. His work schedule knows no weekends and public holiday. But a kaki jalan I am by nature and nurture,what if it's only me and Aulia'? bring it on! Nak keluar jugak! I thought  it was impossible at first but naaa, practice makes perfect, I am so used to it already, you'll be surprised of what I can do with only one hand. Haha The skills develop naturally. From folding stroller and do groceries shopping while pushing the cart and her stroller? I have done all that. But there are time I do need hands from strangers, and kudos to Malaysians, they're helpful. And I think this is the perfect bonding time because Aulia' is with her baby sitter during the weekdays. Her new doll with blinking eyes and annoying sound..  So there are times, I'd love to doll up, but now I have a plus one! How? I doll her up as well! luckily she's a daughter, dear God thanks

Carnaval Churrascaria

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.. Last week we had an invitation from our boss for a departmental dinner.This is the third time I join in with the whole Renewable Energy team for official  makan-makan . So we had this dinner session at a weird place named Carnaval Churrascaria, (I still had a problem of pronouncing this restaurant's name) somewhere near to the Atria Mall in Damansara Jaya SS22, Petaling Jaya. Carnaval Churasscaria is one such Brazilian Restaurant, decked out with Brazilian national colour of yellow and green. It is a brazillian style where all the meats are grilled and the waiter come to each table with knives and skewered meat and slice it for us.. For non-MEAT lovers, you may opt for the non-meety buffet..they actually have rice, pasta, potatoes, salads and some seafood. For those who loves garlic bread, you should try their garlic bread which mixed with cheese..Two thumbs up!! yummy!  

Aulia' birthday party

Assalamualaikum wbt I am finally getting around to share few photos from Aulia's birthday party from a couple weeks ago. We had the greatest afternoon at my in-law's place with siblings, cousins and relatives celebrating our little girl turned TWO and Eid:) I think it's really fun to throw parties for our baby. I know she won't remember it, but it's her birthday and in my opinion, it's more about celebrating everyone in the family and we all made it! What a great year! I am so thankful my in-laws help me with last-minutes stuffs. Sunday morning was hectic! SILs had to pick up the cake and the boys spent the morning finishing off some of the decors (tied the banner together, arranging the furnitures, etc.). The tables, catering foods, fruits, candies and chocolate fountain were also delivered that morning. I took a few pics beforehand, but too busy with Aulia' to take any pics during the party. (My BIL manage to took pictures of the party. Pheww!).