Tuesday, October 23, 2012

My Hijab Story

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...(Peace be upon you)

Being me, ever since I was very little, I grew up in a Malay communities. All my friends, neighbours, and teachers were Malay and I was a completely born as a Muslims. My dad is 36 years old Malay man when he married my mum, a 25 years old Pakistani women who lived in Malay communities. They met at the Embassy of Pakistan where my mum work in the Accountability and Secretarial Department. I was raise with fully Islamic way, Jemaah prayers with mum and dad (Even-though I do not know anything about prayers at that point of time; just imitate what's the adult were doing), start to read Muqadam when I was 6 years old and by the time I was 8, I already  recite Al-Quran fluently (I bet I've did some mistake tho). I am proud of that.  Thanks to my extreme fierce dad!

I remember when I was 9, my dad asking me when I am going to wear the headscarf, not wanting to disappoint him I said I would when I enter primary 6 (aged 12). This, however came and went and I was relieved that he didn't bring it up again for a while..(I really hope that upon reading this you don't judge some of my decisions in the wrong way-Halal or Haram, whatever I did in terms of hijab felt like the right thing to do at that time). 

Fast forward 11 years later, when I first graduated from Uni, back then in 2008, I started my first job. I was still scarf-less by choice. I was like so fashionista with the shoes, handbags and accessories addicted person who love to fill up their wardrobe with nice dresses and stylish. I was enjoying straightening my hair (Somewhat I didn't dye my hair; fact that Wudu' is not legitimate when water cannot penetrate your hair because of the dyes chemical etc.. ). Although I didn't wear a hijab, I did cover everything but my hands, face and hair. Honestly, I do feel inferior without the hijab and the older I get, the more feel the desire to wear the hijab. For a longtime hijab and I had one of those on and off relationships. So one day I decided to be more serious on this. Yes, on May 2010 I became a hijabi and I'm happy to announce that I haven't tried taking it off or even thinking about taking it off since.

It's pretty amazing to me that I now have logical, spiritually and emotionally and socially beneficial guidelines for creating a wardrobe. It just makes so sense to me. It is really comforting knowing the fact that I can buy clothes with a purpose. I feel like what I'm doing is good, as opposed to arbitrary. I am happy that Allah Subhanawataa'la has guided me to the right path.

To think back, there were a lot of questions I had, and always thoughts of doing the right thing followed by my whims to not give up my so called "Freedom".  I do got experience being criticize by some people around me but Alhamdulillah, I made everything became really simple..be firm of what I am doing. But kid you not, I still had a fight ahead of me. There were days of frustration, that I felt that my face looked a little fatter, or that my scarf made make me look really clumsy.

What I can say is that..Give everyone a chance. Yes, do remind and advise, but be tactful and be kind with your words. Because when you say mean words to people under the pretext of advising, it is a reflection of your inner self that no headscarf can cover that. Only Allah s.w.t can judge. Bottom line is, we all know hijab is our way of life and we're all striving for excellence in God's eyes.

So try to not just look at people's heads because that is only a fraction of hijab.

xoxo Shema Aulia'


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